This is the tenth and final article in a series about the issues that arise over time for older people who experience mental declines - and how you, as a family member or friend, can help.

Recent columns have painted a picture of a situation that you would probably love to avoid - having to guide or make big decisions for your elderly relatives, often without much help from them.

Who wants to decide where the people who raised you will live for the rest of their lives?

This is the ninth in a series of articles about the issues that arise over time for older people who experience mental declines -- and how you, as a family member or friend, can help.

Has your elderly relative with dementia wandered off, only to be found confused, hungry and dehydrated hours later and miles away, unable to explain where he had gone or why?

Have you found lots of checks for large amounts written to questionable "charities" whose pitches your mother would have dismissed six months earlier?

This is the eighth in a series of articles about the issues that arise over time for older people who experience mental declines - and how you, as a family member or friend, can help.

Your father got lost walking home from the corner store around the block. Your mother has forgotten how to turn the television on, although she had watched the news every night for the previous 40 years.

This is the seventh in a series of articles about the issues that arise over time for older people who experience mental declines -- and how you, as a family member or friend, can help.

Your dad asks the same question 10 times in 15 minutes. Your mom has lost 20 pounds that she didn't need to lose. You suspect that they're not eating regular meals.

You live two hours - or two states - away.

Now what?

Jennifer FitzPatrick, a licensed certified social worker and adjunct instructor in the gerontology program at Johns Hopkins University, has some suggestions:

This is the sixth in a series of articles about the issues that arise over time for older people who experience mental declines - and how you, as a family member or friend, can help.

While you may wish that an elderly relative's doctor would encourage that relative to allow you to help with money management, you are probably on your own.

Anita described how she had gradually gotten her Aunt Sadie's finances back in order.

This is the fifth in a series of articles about the issues that arise over time for older people who experience mental declines - and how you, as a family member or friend, can help.

Stephanie described her mother's decline to me. What follows is an edited extract from her comments:

"By the time my late mother was around 80, we were seeing signs of word-retrieval issues and a memory that seemed to be slipping.

This is the fourth in a series of articles about the issues that arise over time for older people who experience mental declines - and how you, as a family member or friend, can help.

Jeanne breathed shallowly and made a point of not recoiling. Her mother smelled bad. Jeanne wasn't sure what the problem was - had Edith not bathed for a while? Had she been wearing the same clothing or forgotten to brush her teeth for a week?

This is the third in a series of articles about the issues that arise over time in older people who experience mental declines -- and how you, as a family member or friend, can help.

Jeanne came downstairs and heard her mother, Edith, say - in the tone of voice one would use to encourage a 2-year-old - "That's right! Very good! Keep it up!"

This is the second in a series of articles about the issues that arise over time for older people who experience mental declines - and how you, as a family member or friend, can help.

Jeanne tried not to gasp when she saw her mother's investment records. Edith, 80, proudly pointed to a drawer full of old, musty, dog-eared file folders. The labels had been crossed out and written over many times.

This is the first in a series of articles about the issues that arise over time in older people who experience mental declines -- and how you, as a family member or friend, can help.

Edith, 75, begged her children to help her make decisions about her investments. They refused. They were busy, and they didn't want to be responsible if their advice didn't work out. Edith was careful about money. They were sure she'd make good decisions.